Cocoon

Is it because of autumn? At the moment i don't have any words. Though i have a lot to write about; the Pavlov effect for instance, or am i a devoted slave? Because also towards T. i don't have any words. So i shove the commands away. I live inside of my head; introverted, most comfortable when painting, drawing, listening to music and in the evening not behind the computer but in my warm bed, reading. My cocoon, a safe, warm little nest. I'm feeling great but i am less communicative. I read all your posts but for you i also have no or less words at the moment. It will come in time, i hope rather quick. Because i have so much to write about but my nest is so comfortable, warm and safe.
Nevertheless i hope to leave this nest very soon to meet my Owner again. It has been too long ago. He is very busy with a big rebuilding at His place so our communication was minimal. Or doesn't He mail me 'cause i still haven't written anything and the commands pile up? He is disappointed. Is that the reason of his silence? I miss Him so much, but i don't tell Him 'cause i am a big girl. Does He miss mé? I crave for Him; his dominance, his inflicted pain, his arms around me. But i don't have any words to tell him what i feel. So i make this cocoon to dream dreams full of desire and meekness. Without words.

That He understands His girl

That evening i received the following textmessage from T. that warmed my heart:
Resigned girl of me, keep faith and courage because your are Mine! Mail me, if necessary short ones, but stay with me! I am fond of my girl, sub and slut.

He commanded me to come twice, with clamps on my labia. That evening i received much more textmessages from my Sir and i returned as much answers. And two times became more......

I was so happy with my Owners reaction. I still have to get used to the idea that T. also cares about me if i suffice little to his wishes sometimes. That He doesn't get angry if i am at times less submissive. That He understands his girl. That He doesn't feed my insecurity but takes it away and replace strength and love instead. So totally different from my former experiences. Now i experience how a D/s relationship supposed to be. Ofcourse i knew already in my dreams but didn't experience it before. T. doesn't need to profile his dominance by anger and pushing me down. He brings me to submission by his insight, his understanding and love. And perhaps He's disappointed about the neglected (soon completed) commands, but He doesn't bring this out when i'm not with him. Because He knows that will make me worrying about it, cogitating. Sure He reminds me at times about the neglection, but He doesn't show his disappointment about it yet. He knows that i'm not neglecting them out of unwillingness. He knows i respect his commands. But when we're together He will let me feel his discontent about it. Harsh but lovingly. Meanwhile i grate myself even more comfortable in my nest and notice how words bubble up again. Meekness becomes craving energy.

Thank God for Owners who understand how to get their girls on their knees again. ;-)