Expectation * Our hazy, little world

After a drink in the bar of the hotel, my Owner and i walked back to our room. There i had to undress myself again. Kneeling in front of the bed, You push my head downwards. I thought i was clear that evening, but as i think back to it, i notice that i don't know the right rank of what happened. Pink clouds in my head obstructing clear thinking. I was further in space then i thought i was. I don't remember if You used the belt again on me. Or if You immediately groped and pinched me.

Two fingers deep in me, three, four...... You ask me why i didn't stretch myself at home. 'Cause You notice it goes tiring. Meanwhile You push four fingers inside me, back and forth. Continuously faster. Hard. I don't remember if You pushed Your whole hand inside of me. But i know i was very aroused and came spurting. You continue and i hear the lewdness in Your voice as You snap one humiliation after another at me. I slip away in my hazy little world. Where we are alone. You and i. Where i loose myself in Your spirit. My face in the blankets, i hear Your voice stirring us up. Feeling Your hand deep inside of me, while Your other hand is pushing my head down. Suddenly You penetrate me deep, fucking me with a pent-up rage i've never experienced before. Harsh. Heated. I hear Your humiliating words, but it's only sound. The meaning doesn't get through. Hazy and warm. I feel while Your grip in my hair strenghten. Pulling my head backwards. Then i feel the first slap in my face. Not only my cheek is glowing. More slaps follow. Hazy and warm. i feel as the last slap overwhelms me. For a moment darkness in my head and astonishment. Stars. I see stars as You help me to stand up. Taking me by the hand and lead me to the shower. And i know what comes next.

I'm sitting on the cool tiles. Bent head. The hazyness in my head is gone and a cool intelligibility calms my heated thoughts. Notices how small the shower is. How this space is filled with great expectations. How my stomach contracts because of the nervously fluttering butterflies. I look up and see Your concentrated face above me. I smile. You too find it difficult to piss under pressure. The pressure of expectations this time. I open my mouth, but close it nervously as i feel how the first drops spatter on my face. It's a little stream so i carefully open my mouth again to receive some of Your piss. I feel emotional as i taste You. As i swallow You. Your salty taste linger against my palate. I was afraid that i had to throw up, but i didn't. I get all warm inside. The little stream stops. I giggle.

'That's a stream of nothing.' i hear You mumble. Your face even more concentrated. I take You in my mouth and taste. Time seems to stand still. In the silence of this cool, white space, where a second seems to be an eternity, i wait patiently while i take in Your face. As i open my mouth again, and my tongue hesitating sticks out, i suddenly see a great relief on Your face that uncovers a big smile. A salty, warm beam touches my face, tongue and heart while i swallow, taste, swallow and notice how Your warm fluid clear a way through my body. Grateful i am that this first time the stream wasn't that plentifull. You put on the warm shower as i hide in Your arms. After which You tenderly wash Your dirty girl. I show You my gratitude by many, many little-girl-kisses.

Images that make my head spin

Because of the minimal contact between T. and myself i was weary and calm. But after a number of delicious text messages from my Owner the submissive in me started to sparkle again. I woke up in a very sunny mood and thoughts about my Owner excited me. I sended a morning greeting and the question if i was allowed to come.

I give you an orgasm-command; you're allowed to come on the toilet the way I've teached you. Like a dirty girl, the horny obliging piss-slut of your Owner.

This answer makes me feel small. Those words; dirty, horny, obliging piss-slut are affecting me somehow. They feel humiliating and degrading. But my body-reactions make very clear that those affecting words arouses me very much.
I am wondering if i had to pee in my pantyhose or if i have to pee over my hand and then taste it. Given that i have to do it on the toilet i choose for the last option. To finger myself on the toilet does a lot to me. It feels disparaging and very, very slutty. To do this on the wc is dirty, to me that is. Probably acquired behavior from my childhood; the toilet is a dirty place. So dirty piss-slut is a correct definition. * blush * Nevertheless without any shame i sit down astride. As i start to pee i hold my hand in the warm spurt of piss and don't hesitate a bit. It almost feels trusted already. It arouses me ever more. Because T. wants me to do this. Because He's thinking of me at that very moment, knowing what i'm doing. As the piss runs down my hand, suddenly i smell it much stronger and very aware, i almost come. Because i'm thinking of my Owner, imagining how He would piss over me. His smell in my hair, His taste in my mouth. How would that be? I never could presume that i'm craving for it right now. These thoughts that make me come without using my fingers. But i can hold my orgasm. I wanna enjoy this intense excitement a little bit longer. Conscious tasting and smelling my pee. Because as i stop pissing, i place my fingers in my mouth and taste myself. I feel light-headed. T. buzzes in my thoughts. Carefully i lick my fingers. Feeling embarrassed but oh so horny. So terribly aroused. Thoughts on my Owner are connecting us, as if He's standing next to me.

i can feel His firm grip in my hair, pulling my head backwards.
"Open your mouth!"
i see His penetrating glance before He pisses in my mouth and i don't let it run but i swallow and swallow and heave and swallow and taste. Him. i don't wanna spill a drop. And my Owner burns in my stomach. He glows on my cheeks after the slap in the face.

Deep i push my fingers inside of me and roughly moving them in and out. Rough and hard, so that i dispel my intense craving to my Owner. In between i hit my cunt and then again..... rough and hard. Even harder because this craving hurts. As an orgasm arises i push my fingers deeper and start to pee again. The orgasm overflows me and gets on for a long time. While images of my Owners eyes observing me, his hands torturing me and His warm piss that runs over me are making my head spin.

'Lift me up, lift me up ooooooh lala lala.'

Impact; letter to my Owner

Being Your piss-slut has far more impact than i ever thought it would be. As i received your textmessage in which you gave me the command to be ready for Your phonecall at half past eleven it started to tickle. Everywhere. Nervous but excited. Because Your instructions made very clear what Your intentions are.
The photographs i sended You; on which i pee and even put my fingers in my mouth, did charm You. The embarrassement got a grip on me in full fierceness as You told me that i was a dirty girl. You spoke about the pictures; Such a dirty slut you are, doing all this kinda stuff.

I love it as you speak to me in that way. Suddenly i felt very small. As You put it this way, pointing it out, it feels humiliating. The slut wasn't a braggart any longer but transformed into this little girl. Shame about my behaviour. But such a delicious shame. Meanwhile no sane words came out of my mouth any longer.

What are you mo? Tell me.

A dirty girl Master.

What do you say? Say it again, but now more clear. What are you mo?

A dirty girl T.

Yes mo, you áre a dirty slut. Now i wanna hear it loud and clear. What are you mo?

A dirty slut T.

And who's dirty slut are you?

i am Yóur dirty slut Master.

Finally i could pronounce these words loud and clear without nervous giggling. That made me Yours very deep and intense. Especially the little girl stayed on the foreground this time. I don't act as a little girl, i ám. That's how i feel at that very moment. It surprised me as i heard myself so evident and therefore saw myself.

You ordered me to drink lots of water until You call. I did this properly. I didn't wear underwear but thights and high heels. Also Your command. As You called me i had this very strong urge to pee, i even was worried if i could hold it. But there you have it; sometimes i can't hold my pee, but at the moment You command me: Piss slut! i can't. Little bits of pee and then nothing..... I concentrate myself on peeing while i hear Your voice in my ear, i squeeze and yes a little bit more. Little bit. Not the flood you wished to hear and i willingly wanted to give You. When we finished our phone call You instructed me to piss once more in my pantyhose. In the bathroom, alone, it did came. I felt my warm moistness and as i fingered myself in Your command i smelled myself. My warm, heated piss. The smell confused me. It wasn't really dirty, but extremely penetrating. Ofcourse i have smelled piss more often, but then it didn't reach me, i think i could preclude the smell of it. But now the scent got through deeply and touched me. Also as You on the phone command me to lick my wet fingers this intense, confusing smell. A metallic, heavy scent. A slightly bitter, salty taste. It made me a bit faint. The smell lingered for a long time. Even as i participate again my daily activities, go shopping etc. A faint feeling in my stomach. Nervousness. I was surprised by this nervous feeling and i examined where this feeling come from. I didn't find the answer, but some indications. The smelling and most of all the tasting made clear this isn't my 'thing'. The excitement i experience has to do with my dedication. I am doing this because You, my Owner demands me. That's why i like this. But therefore also this tension i think. This is about total surrender, this makes me more than ever Your slave. Your property. Grrrrr i can't find the right words. Submissiveness and devotion. To be, just to be. Yours. Slave.

As i smelled myself this strong, so thís is how slavegirl smells, i had to cry. This all has great impact on me dear T., my beloved Owner. Astonishing, intense, confusing, enchanting.

A heartfelt kiss from Your slave, Your mo.

More pictures.

The essence

It has already been awhile back that T. in a subtle way leads me to a new path. He implants that little seed in my mind, waiting to sprout. Once in a while T. is giving the seed some food and the first buds are already visible. (Dry earth....blog)
T. had send me the url from the blog of sub lyn in which she describes how she becomes her Masters piss-slut.

'Little slut of me, give me your thoughts, your feelings, your fantasies and emotions while reading this post.'

Reading the post of sub lyn gave me mixed feelings. I understand her feelings and why she became a piss-slut, but for me? Sometimes i had this fantasy that T. is pissing upon my clit. A warm splash at that place seems yummie and exciting to me. But the prospective vision my Owner describes; drinking His piss and my own is making me shiver. The fear and shivering twinkles over my spine aren't unpleasant though. So i was curious where this idea from my Ower comes from. Is it because of the humiliation? Does it make Him horny? Or maybe both. Has this to do with power and my devotion to it?

As you know mo, in the life of a child peeing is óne of the issues in which guilt, atonement, humiliation and rewards are very important. On that moment in this young life you're rewarded as you hold your pee and as you empty your bladder in the right way; on your potty. And there is some rejection as you pee in your pants or on your bed. Rewardings and rejection are indissoluble connected with this 'holding-your-pee-phenomenon'. While later on in your life peeing has this private 'forbidden for others'character.

In our connection mo, this holding-up phenomenon and the accompanying rewardings and punishments will be turned around. If you are my piss-slut you'll be rewarded if you on unwanted places or in my command pee as I have instruct you. If you pee the 'normal' way you'll be punished for being obedient to this what is worn for years. This inversion of perspective mo, is worth it to examine together.

From this point of view slut of me, is let go of your pee at moments I desire and in the way I want you to do it, a condition of humiliation, degradation connected with shame and capitulation. Also is commanding that you MUST pee (equal to my commands that you múst cum) a delicious practise of power from your Owner over my possession who's obliged to humiliate and lower herself. Can you feel it on your spine subbie of me?

I know that if I wish you to be my piss-slut, you will be mo. These thoughts are making you horny slut and you already allow to rise some images in your imagination. To piss, little slut of me, has also to do with pure, hot Power and exciting Domination.

This explanation of T. makes me melt and touches deeply my submissiveness. Ofcourse i become T.'s piss-slut if He wants me to. Even though it will not be easy. Reading the experiences of sub lyn and of toy describing also her physical reactions of aversion while drinking her Owners piss, have not taken away my shivers and fear. But the essence of this all; the humiliation leading to feeling small and humble, His power over me, His girl doing all her best to please Him and the ultimate submission that's required for this are making the seed to root. Are making me wanna be His piss-slut. The essence is His ultimate Dominance over me and my devoted submission that's making me complete. And this essence also arouses me very, very much.

Art by Odd Nerdrum ° Twilight

Dry earth needs water

Art by Odd Nerdrum ° Pissing woman

Yes, the girl is back. I had a wonderful vacation, nice weather, lots of sun and the sea. And dry earth. The orgasm-ban was discarded, but there was one instruction from T. i had to accomplish:

this command means that you at some time seclude yourself to connect with me. This moment is chosen with care and commitment and during that moment you surrender yourself, like a devoted submissive. My posession surrenders herself to her rooted masochism and her deeply felt humility to her Master.

The place slutgirl of me can be the woods, into the mud, near a lake, in a river, lying in the sun, the museum etc..... On this specific place and at that chosen time you accomplish with all your energy and intentions a ritual of which you know that your Owner will appreciate it. A sacred act of which you know and feel that you fully become soaked of the knowing that you are Mine. My slut surrenders herself totally to her Owner, visible and complete. A moment on which you feel I'm with you. Knowing that I'm looking at you, that moment as I curl my lips out of horny pleasure. You are allowed to use everything; your body, your fluids, your own piss, your slutcunt, but most of all your own and unique fantasy and imagination.

During this act I oblige you to cum mo!


T. was travelling with me in my heart anyhow. Sometimes in the background and sometimes more clear present. The moment i drove upon the area of the little farm-campground in the middle of the Ardèche, France, i knew it. Here i will accomplish my command. A quiet campground, not so much guests. With a swimmingpool, which later on seems to be a private swimmingpool because it wasn't used often by the other guests.


A hot, sweltering day. Lazy i lie upon a blanket in the dry grass. My beloved hubbie decides to go shopping with the kids in the little town nearby. Because i'm daydreaming so lovely in the sun i don't go with them. For sure my men are away for an hour or more, so this is a perfect moment for the instruction T. gave me.

It seems like i'm the only one at the campground, such a quietness. If there's another person around, then i'm not aware of his or her presence. Lovely tranquility sometimes disturbed by a car on the road further on, and the sound withers in the distance. Soft chattering from the chickens, a buzzing insect or a lost bleating from a goat are making me peaceful and relaxed. I'm on my back looking at the blue sky. I shove the blanket upwards so that the dry grass sting my bum. I'm not naked, wearing my bathingsuit because the campgrounds owner is at home, at his farm a little bit further on. And perhaps there's a campgroundguest who is going for a walk. I focus my thoughts on T., my Possesor. The moongirl and her Sun. Sunbeams touching my body. The Sun doesn't warm me but sets me on fire. Unyielding Sun that makes me sweat. I spread my legs wide open and place my folded hands above my head. A posture that summons memories, making me crave for my Owner. I surrender myself to the Sun, the ruthless heat and my craving thoughts and fantasies. As soon as i spread my legs the desire is blazing and scorch my soul. Aroused girl. The sun is burning on my crotch making my thoughts hotter. Turning into a longing slut. I fantasize

that i'm naked. My hands and legs are affixed. My Owner in front of me on an easy chair. He has a delicious view on my wideopen cunt. The sun i called ruthless betrays my excitement. The fluid running slowely from my longing cunt is clearly, glistening visible. T. transformed my breasts into sunflowers. Colourless wooden pegs all round my tits and on my nipples the special darkbrown painted ones. Sunflowers are so apposite for southern France. Aches travelling thru my body to substantial tickeling my cunt, making it even more glistening. T. is holding a whip in his hand, sometimes beating the pegs with it in a teasing way.

"The dry earth here needs water girlie, and you take care of that."

Indeed, i become more and more liquid. After each malicious blow and the pain coming with it i feel sweat pearling on my skin. This sweat on my skin is transposed in my cunt. Thick drops of horniness.

"Disgraceful mo, how impudent you lay down here. So open wide and so obvious aroused."

So therefore i deserve hard blows on my cunt that makes me shrivel from pain. So far it's possible for a girl that's affixed on the ground. But my Tormentor knows no mercy and colours my disgraceful cunt deep red. Glowing, burning screaming red. His unapproachable glance upon me. I search his eyes but He doesn't look at me. His glance scorching every inch of my body. And i know, the sun doesn't know mercy, every flaw will be visible. I become very, very small. Suddenly He pierces his eyes into mine. For a moment i'm scared.

"And now you're going to pee mo, the earth needs much more water. You are going to pee while I watch you. Every minute passing by brings in a hard blow on your cunt. So, go ahead slut."

Oh my, i become nervous. I'm not sure if i can manage it. I don't know if i can pee on command and if someone is watching me. A hard blow on my cunt provoking a scream of pain makes clear that one minute has passed by. I recover myself and try to focus on the peeing. I can feel the urge, but somehow i hold it, i can't let it go. The second even harder blow provokes another scream and tears in my eyes.

"Tears are good mo. Valuable liquid for the dry earth."

So another hard blow swishes on my already glowing cunt. That wasn't the one minute yet. This blow was for the tears so it seems. Soon after that another blow. Wow, minutes pass by too fast. Now the tears are rolling over my cheeks. I'm aware that the blows will come disorderly and become harder each time. This consciousness is breathtaking, the pain strikes into awe. So much awe that suddenly i feel my pee running. This brings in a nice, glowing pain that makes me cum. The warm glance of my Owner makes me feel proud. The sound of the zipper of His pants and i am startled. Anxious i wait for what comes next. I knew one day this would become reality. Then T.'s piss splashes on my tormented cunt, setting it on fire even more. Again i cum. I've never experienced this before, but this feels good. Oh so humiliating but also very, very intimate. Warm and intense and i surprise myself as i naturally open my mouth to drink my Owners exquisite fluid. It's making me dizzy........

While i fantasize all this, far away in sunny France, i can feel T. very close to me. It moves me. My Owner implants this little seed; making me also his piss-slut (more about that later) and this little seed already starts sprouting in my fantasies. Drinking T.'s piss wíll become reality some day. That scares me but intrigues me at the same time. Meanwhile i was very excited, but didn't dare to masturbate at that spot. Perhaps there's someone in the neighbourhood, taking a walk. And i have the order to cum. During my fantasies i did tighten and relaxing the muscles of my cunt. Et voilá. As my fantasy did intensify on the peeing i overcame myself, and did a step across a border. I always thought i have nothing with peeing, being a piss-slut and all of that. But my excitement, the longing and craving for T., feeling Him so close to me, my stimulating thoughts and fantasies were making me pee at that moment for real. Because of that i felt intensely that i am the slavegirl of T. His Possesion, wanna make Him happy and pleased. I am His, even if He's not around me. That made me cum deeply. After my special ritual for my Owner i walked with my head in the clouds towards the swimmingpool. Fortunately there was nobody there 'cause i suppose that i looked silly with that biiiiiiiiiig smile on my face. First a shower before i slipped into the swimmingpool to cool off.