It's time for some spring cleaning!

Heavenly surrender

Photograph by Stuart

i'll make you a prayer,
a heavenly surrender.
To the one somewhere out there.
The one who can mend her.
i pray for the one,
Who can open my door.
Let me go through,
oh yes, give me more.

i pray for the lover,
the willing intender.
To break down the door
of heavenly surrender.

i only make love to Jesus,
i only f**k God.
i only make love to Jesus,
i only f**k God.

i crave your violent,
Acted upon me.
Set me free by your
weighted autonomy.
i am so human,
so small, so debased.
Jealousy and darkness roll over this place.

i pray for the lover,
a willing intender.
To break down the girl,
a heavenly surrender.

i only make love to Jesus,
i only f**k God.
i only make love to Jesus,
i only f**k God.

i'm a lover of freedom,
But i cling to the dusk.
i'm blown by the wind,
i'm a slave;
i am lust.
Roll my face in
the shit that i sleep in.
Tie me and bind me
up for your keeping.

i'll make you a prayer,
a heavenly surrender.
To the one somewhere out there.
The one who can mend her.

i only make love to Jesus,
i only f**k God.
i only make love to Jesus,
i only f**k God.
i only make love to Jesus,
i only f**k God.
i only f**k God.
i only f**k...

Lyrics by Queen Adreena

Un peu nerveux

Photograph: Gilles Berquet

Dark desires

Photograph by HOTgraFX

Only one night sleep and i'm seeing my Owner again. Nah, i'm not bouncing and craving. Do you believe that?

Dark sex by R. C. Hörsch

I’M GOING SHE SAID,
I SAID GO, GO, GO, GO, GO, GO, GET OUT, GET. AND HE THREW HIS TONGUE, HALFWAY DOWN MY BELLY-ROLL
THAT MOUTH, MOUTH, MAN 'O WAR MOUTH.
DEEPER AND DEEPER AND DEEPER, I DON’T CHOKE NO MATTER WHAT THE COUGH
HE SCRATCHED UP MY LEGS AND PULLED DOWN ALL I HAD ON
AND SCRATCHING AND DIG, DIG, DIG, AND HONEY SWELLS IT UP AND OUT AND LAPS IT UP
AND ALL OVER HIS FINGERS, MY LIPS AND TONGUE AND SHIT
I CAN’T GET, I CAN’T GET, I CAN’T GET ENOUGH OF HOW HE GIVES IT.

HE SLAPS ME ON THE TABLE AND STICKS IT ALL FAT AND SOFT BETWEEN MY THOUGHTS AND HIS
IT GETS HARD, HARD, HARD, HARD AND ALL IN THE WRONG PLACE
SO I SAY REPLACE IT, HE POUTS AND HE PUMPS IT, I SAY DON’T, DON’T, DON’T DO THAT
C’MON, DON’T,. DON’T,
HE POUTS AND HE PUMPS IT HOME
AND THREE MINUTES LATER HE HITS IT TO HEAVEN, THEN OUT
I SAY THAT’S NOT HOW IT’S DONE, C’MON, THAT’S NOT HOW IT GOES
SO I SEW UP THE TEARS AND THE DUNGEON IT HEARTHROBS AND I WAS SCALING WALLS AND SEETHING,
JUST BREATHING, BREATHING IN YOUR STEAMING

AND I GOT GUNHOLDS AND HEAVEN IT’S SCREAMING, AND HEAVEN IT’S SCREAMING,
AND HEAVEN IT’S SCREAMING BENEATH US.

Words: Lydia Lunch

Craving

Today i meet my Owner again! :-D

Photograph; Nathalie suspended by Singing Naturist.

A nice photograph for craving and dreaming submissives. The knowing that T. soon is back from His holidays is making me jumpy and longing. It won't take long for our next meeting. *sigh*

Jump....jump..... jump.... I bonce into the garden, perhaps the sun will calm me down. ;-)

Photograph The submissive by Lucky Luck

Trust

Photograph; Little pet by HOTgraFX

Trust is one of the posts in a relationship. Since the very beginning i feel familiar with T. And when we met RL that tuesday and saw each other for the first time that familiar feeling was still there, the trust. After this meeting, as you could read, i felt jumpy, yearning and dreamy. The promiss T. made to see each other again made me happy. And that's an understatement.

The friday after i received a mail from Him that made me more restless. He wrote He was travelling North, passing my hometown.

Do you travel a bit along with Me?

i send Him a mail back in which i describe a sexy story about what will happen when i get in the train. i had a busy weekend so fortunately not much time for craving but ofcourse sometimes my thoughts were wandering. At monday i send Him a sms;

and....did You see me waving at You?

That monday i was busy working. Tuesday goes by. Since friday there was this loud silence. i began to worry. i mail Him that it was a week ago that we met, so nearby, but it also seems so far away. That everything is softly glowing inside of me.

Wednesday...... silence. i try to banish my growing agitation; i do know T. is a busy man, travelling a lot because of His work. He made me this promiss to be clear, that He won't drop me. Because of the betrayed trust in former relationships i didn't manage to suppress my insecurity. i feel embarrassed about this. In the evening i feel so much stress that i mail Him about my restless, insecure feelings. Fortunately at thursdays it's also very busy at work, but when i finally arrive home, i immediately open my mailbox. There it is; His name glistens towards me. i wait for awhile, dare not open it. Reading the first phrase takes away all turmoil. Radiant i continue reading.

Hi, sweet tumbling and restless subbie of Mine.

Again i read this phrase. Of Mine. These words make me glow. This is how i feel it, how i wanna feel. As a submissive i am His. His mail contains some virtual punishment.

Shame on you mo! Three times shame on you! Because you doubted me.

i dó feel ashamed, but i feel ashamed laughing 'cause i feel so happy right now! Indeed T. was travelling because of His work. He promisses me that from now on He'll not keep me ignorant when He's away. Because of this grace i need to fulfil a command. i'll do it with heartiness. More about that in a next blog.

Glowing i will enjoy my weekend. i feel good and renowned. From now on i will not feel insecure unrest. His words touching me deep inside, giving me peace and trust. More than.......

Relief * For T.

Photograph; Pornographic illumination by Dr. Spankenstein

Oh well, there she is, on her knees, spreaded legs. Clamps on her nipples, sending a fierce pain thru her body. The cold of the dungeonfloor draws a track of pimples on her skin. But she doesn't feel the cold. Because lust is blazing up in her belly. His burning glance upon her. Her growing passion intensifies the pain she is feeling.
He is standing in front of her, looking down on her. Uneasy her hands touching her cunt. Uneasy because He is looking at her. Forced onanism. The shame and humiliation arousing her even more. She is wet. Timid she pushes a finger in her mouth and sucks on it. This always excites her very much. She is hoping she'll climax soon, ending this humiliation. Her other hand kneading, pinching, caressing. His hand grabbing her hair, a firm grip, she stops what she is doing. She waits. What will happen next.
His finger in her mouth. One finger, two fingers, three.... He commands her to continue her masturbation. His fingers in her opened mouth directing the rhytm. Faster and faster. She dribbles, which she finds horrible. But she let herself go in an increasing, intense lewdness. He pulls his fingers out of her mouth, strenghten his grip. He buries His cock deep in her mouth. This deeply gauged slutheat of her mouth. He pushes rough and hard. In and out. In. Out. Then His forcing hand raising her, enforcing her to look at Him. While He is pulling her face towards Him, His cock slips from her mouth. Leaving behind a trace of dribble and spittle on her lips and chin. Her mouth open and hungry. He looks at her, making her blush.

"Look at what you are doing little slut! See what you are doing with My cock."
One hand firm in her hair fixating her posture. His other hand holding His cock, slapping her with it. The spittle amplifies the slapping sound of His cock on her lips, cheeks, face. She feels how her eyes, almost as in triomph, starting to smile. Quickly she closes them, but it's too late. He notices her sparkling eyes. She feels the glowing of His slapping hand on her cheek.
"Look at me, mo. Look at my cock, you slut! You can't get it, not yet. You have to deserve it. And for now slut, you look Me in the eye and you orgasm.

Now!"

Dreaming

Photograph by Doug Faircloth

For those who asked how am i doing? Because of my silence. First of all; thank you very much for your concern. I had been ill, so therefore i slept a lot lately. Which is good at times, i enjoy dreaming. And there is a lot to dream about lately.

Lots of e-mailing with T. Getting to know each other better. Writing about our Dominant/submissive feelings. Our dark fantasies. But i don't wanna write about it right now because at the moment it is still too vulnerable. But i will......... soon.
Though the contact wit T. feels good. More then. Well, i dó wanna reveal you that i am going to meet Him. Next week. In a public place. I'll meet Him in a town i love very much. Because of the beautiful Cathedral and the Hieronymus Bosch connection.
It hád to be this town for T. inspired me to write the sun*day stories; The confession, Penance and Misericordia. (Scroll down to the first comment to read the english translation.)

The mail contact with T. leads to inquiring my submissive, masochistic feelings. Thats what i am going to write about. To begin with. What arouses the submissive in me, what the girl, the slut? What are my restrictions and am i able to strecht these restrictions? How far will i go on the journey? Because new possibilities, fascinations and insights are glimmering at the horizon. As well because of T.